Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Get Your War On

The new one: "Nothing says 'Good luck' like handing off sovereignty and then running straight to the airport ... "

Nairobi Through an Architect's Eyes

From his new post with the UN in Kenya, San Francisco architect Jack Howard offers up a walking tour of Nairobi in Line Magazine. (Thanks, Ali.)

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Rise of the Pseudostate

Adam Hochschild, who has reported from South Africa's bantustans and the Soviet Union's satellite republics, offers his take on the birth of the new Iraq, whatever form it may take.
The Iraq that will come into being this Wednesday does not closely resemble either the South African homelands or the old Soviet republics. But their histories, however different, might suggest the same lesson to American planners: pseudostates often turn out quite differently than their inventors intend, for their very creation is an act of hubris. And the larger and more unstable the pseudostate, the greater the hubris and the more likely that imperial plans will go awry. Washington's hopes for what Iraq will be in five or ten years, or even in five or ten months, may prove as unreliable as its predictions that U.S. invasion troops would be greeted with cheers and flowers and would be home in a year.

Clearly White House strategists have a set of hopes, already somewhat battered, for what the Iraqi pseudostate will evolve into: a willing home for the permanent military bases the Pentagon is building in the country; an oil reservoir safely under U.S. influence; and a strategic ally against militant Islam, all with the façade, at least, of democracy. On the other hand, with its vast oil wealth and restive population, at some point Iraq could take a very different path, and embody the religious fervor of its Shiite majority, demand that U.S. forces leave, try to cancel reconstruction contracts with U.S. firms, and reverse the privatization of state assets now under way. Of course, it's not necessarily a matter of going entirely down one path or the other. Iraq may well take on some characteristics from each--or might fracture into Sunni, Shiite, and Kurdish entities, or follow a path no "expert" can now guess.
(via Tom Dispatch)

Gentrification Isn't Always a Bad Thing

According to this piece in the Sunday Times (SA), luxury living has returned to downtown Jo'burg. It seems that an ambitious developer is renovating some of the inner city's highrises and art-deco buildings, and young professionals are buying them up. Usually, gentrification is a dirty word, but anything that brings some business back downtown is a real achievement.

(via Gauteng Blog)

Common Goals?
In short, it is the position of the people of the United States, as expressed by their representatives in Congress, that Israel's fight is our fight.
-- Tom Delay, 2003
While DeLay's sentiments are common currency these days in Washington, and especially the White House, it's obvious that the feeling isn't necessarily reciprocated in Tel Aviv. Indeed, the Israelis have never hesitated to do as they please -- witness the Lebanon war, undertaken against Washington's preference (Al Haig's notorious "green light" notwithstanding) -- regardless of U.S. interests or policies. Seymour Hersh's New Yorker piece last week, which focused on Israel's growing involvement with the Kurds, offers further proof. As Hersh reports, Israeli commando teams have been training Kurdish peshmerga in Iraqi Kurdistan, and may be running destabilization operations in Kurdish areas of Syria and Iran as well. All of which makes civil war in Iraq and intervention from Turkey, and possibly Iran and Syria, much more likely. Needless to say, Israel's actions aren't in line with official U.S. policy.
Senior German officials told me, with alarm, that their intelligence community also has evidence that Israel is using its new leverage inside Kurdistan, and within the Kurdish communities in Iran and Syria, for intelligence and operational purposes. Syrian and Lebanese officials believe that Israeli intelligence played a role in a series of violent protests in Syria in mid-March in which Syrian Kurdish dissidents and Syrian troops clashed, leaving at least thirty people dead. (There are nearly two million Kurds living in Syria, which has a population of seventeen million.) Much of the fighting took place in cities along Syria’s borders with Turkey and Kurdish-controlled Iraq. Michel Samaha, the Lebanese Minister of Information, told me that while the disturbances amounted to an uprising by the Kurds against the leadership of Bashir Assad, the Syrian President, his government had evidence that Israel was "preparing the Kurds to fight all around Iraq, in Syria, Turkey, and Iran. They’re being programmed to do commando operations."
Not surprisingly, Israel has always done its best to destabilize its neighbors. That's realpolitik, plain and simple, and you can hardly blame the Israelis for that. Official Washington, though, just winks and goes back to touting the supposed unity of U.S.-Israeli aims. It seems that end-of-days fundamentalism and blind Likudnik ideology trump all -- no matter the costs for Iraq or U.S. credibility.



Friday, June 25, 2004

About-Face

Recently, Thabo Mbeki has been talking more like an apartheid-era ANC activist and less like the free-market cheerleader he often appeared to be during his first term in office. Is it because he's in his second term now (with no third term possible, constitutionally), and he figures it's safe to let his roots show? Or has he simply decided that continuing to follow an American-style economic program could be disastrous for South Africa's poor? I don't know enough about Mbeki to say, but this Business Day piece summed it up this way:
[Mbeki's comments] signal not so much a return to the old socialism of the exiled African National Congress (ANC), but a retreat from the ruling party's wholesale conversion to free-market economics just before it came to power.
Either way, it seems a good thing that the ANC is reconsidering its wholehearted embrace of neoliberal policies -- and their apparently inevitable consequences for the lower classes -- provided the new economic model is along the lines of Malaysia, say, and not Zimbabwe.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Letting It Burn



The BBC posts a good photo essay on the effects of oil production on Nigeria's Delta region. It's amazing, in a way: All those billions of dollars over all of those years, and no one besides a few elites has seen any benefit. On a related note, there's a new report out today on Shell's corporate stewardship -- or lack thereof -- in its operations around the world, including the Niger Delta.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Polio Makes a Comeback

Just two years ago, Sebastio Salgado released his stunning book of documentary photography, "The End of Polio." Shot in concert with UNICEF, Salgado's images chronicled the efforts, from India to Nigeria, to eradicate this stubborn but very preventable disease. "Very soon we will live in a polio-free world," the book optimistically declared. Now, unfortunately, comes this news:
Five times as many West and Central African children have been struck with polio in the first half of 2004 compared to the same period last year, health experts said on Tuesday. They warned that the threat of the biggest epidemic in recent years looms over the region unless massive immunisation programmes swing into action.
The numbers, though small, are worrisome mostly because the disease has already reappeared in 10 countries. If you're so inclined, you can donate to UNICEF here.

Sovereignty?

Drawing on both Orwell and Arendt, the inimitable Billmon has a few words on the supposed return of Iraqi self-rule next week -- and on the media's passive acceptance of the White House line.
The act of deception, in other words, increasingly becomes an act of self-deception - or even a conscious supression of what public opinion (and, these days, that means the mainstream media) already knows to be the truth.

At times, this self-deception can be almost desperate - as when the conservative faithful cling to their fiction that the pain and death being administered in America's new gulag archipelago is actually just the work of a few "bad apples" at Abu Ghraib prison.

At other times - as with the illusion of a sovereign Iraq - deception is more a matter of convenience, a way of describing a complex reality in a way that is both acceptable to the audience and harmonious with the party line (in which America, by definition, cannot play the role of imperial puppet master.)

Either way, the net effect is to tilt the playing field further and further towards self-delusion. [...]


Friday, June 18, 2004

Them Changes

Regular readers may notice a few changes. First off, I've added a comments function, so if anyone has anything to contribute, don't be shy. Also, I've spruced up my blog roll a bit, adding on a bunch of very good Africa-centered weblogs -- some gleaned from the Southern Africa Web Ring, of which I'm now a member.

Mainstreaming the Ikasis

An interesting piece in the Mail and Guardian online today on the melding of townships and cities in South Africa, and on the attempt to "pinpoint what characterises townships 10 years after democracy should have made them redundant":
Is the township a state of mind? Or simply a cheaper place to live? Or, as borders between townships and the cities they were created to serve become permeable and the music, style and culture of ikasi (locations) suffuse the metropolis, is there much difference between them?


When It All Comes Down

While it's not likely the U.S. is going to "cut-and-run" from Iraq anytime soon -- just look at those 14 bases we're building -- there are signs that the Pentagon, tortoiselike, is retreating into its shell and preparing the escape hatches in case things get really hairy over there. Indeed, as more and more of the country comes under guerrilla control (think Fallujah), it now appears that Washington is about to abandon the Baghdad airport to the insurgents, too (Technically, they'll be handing it to Iraqi security forces, but, as we've seen, the two are often one and the same in practice). At the same time, according to a Whiskey Bar blogger with some security clearance, the U.S. is busily fortifying a more defensible airport in Balad, some 50 miles from Baghdad. As Billmon observes, "A bolt hole like that could come in pretty handy one of these days, I think.

Our Secret Prisons

Back when the Abu Ghraib torture scandal broke, I wondered how many secret detention centers the U.S. was running worldwide. Well, courtesy of Human Rights First, we now have an approximate count:
The report lists more than two dozen facilities that have been reported by Human Rights First sources and the media; at least half of these operate in total secrecy.

In addition to listing known detention facilities – including prisons at Guantanamo Bay, Bagram Air Force Base, and Abu Ghraib – the report, "Ending Secret Detentions" provides an accounting of U.S. military detention facilities reported in Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Jordan, and aboard U.S. ships at sea (see attached list).
[...]
The report, called "Ending Secret Detention," concludes that the secrecy surrounding this network of detention facilities, as it has been constructed and operated by the United States, makes "inappropriate detention and abuse not only likely, but inevitable."
(via Cursor)

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Monkey Business

If you've spent some time in South Africa, you've probably come across that peculiar -- and singularly South African -- condiment called monkey gland sauce. I had always assumed that this Afrikaner standby was just some strange sort of barbecue sauce, but Brian McCune at Kitsch'n'Zinc offers up some of the gory details:
The origins of the dish are shrouded in mystery although one story I have heard seems perfectly plausible. It appears that some French chefs were lured to Johannesburg to cook at the old Carlton Hotel early in the 1950’s. The rich white clients of the fine dining room had plenty of money but lacked sophistication in continental cuisine and try as they might the chefs could not please their customers with the finer nuances of delicately flavoured haute cuisine sauces accompanying the well done steaks. In desperation and with a certain amount of venom, one day, they threw every commercial sauce preparation they could lay their hands on, into the pot and pronounced the resultant mish mash to be Monkey Gland Sauce. The sweet and sour elements in the sauce struck a chord with the predominantly Afrikaner clientele reflecting so many other dishes in their traditional repertoire – the chefs enjoyed the joke, the customers enjoyed the steak and a legend unfortunately was born.
McCune even includes a recipe, but recommends that you don't try this at home.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Detroit Muscle


The Pistons -- this year's version is like the 'Bad Boys' of old, but with more tattoos -- won it all. And this time the city didn't go up in flames. I haven't been back there in years, but maybe my hometown is turning the corner?

[Yeah, I know it's not exactly on-topic, but I couldn't resist.]

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Blood (or Water) from a Stone

Yesterday, the BBC covered the ongoing township revolt against water privatization, a struggle pitting South Africa's poorest against both the ANC and the private companies that are trying to make a profit from water distribution. Unfortunately, the Beeb hews pretty closely to the official line -- that resistance to paying for water springs from the 'culture of non-payment' that apartheid spawned in the townships -- rather than the elementary (and far more insoluble) fact that people have never paid for water, and can't afford to start doing it now. A few years ago, I spent a lot of time in Soweto covering the fight against electricity privatization for In These Times magazine. The protestors fought the ANC to a draw on that one, more or less, but it looks like they're losing ground on the water issue.

Friday, June 11, 2004

Upping the Ante

Earlier this week, Rethabile at On Lesotho wondered if this story in Black America Today was true:
Thousands of Black South Africans will soon be able to buy back land taken from them during the apartheid era. Landless Blacks are allowed to claim White-owned farmland. If White farmers refuse to sell, a new law lets the government step in and forcibly buy the land at market price.
It is. While BAT pretty clearly sexed it up a bit, the general contours of the story are correct (as confirmed by this piece in the Telegraph, which isn't averse to a little sensationalism itself). In response to the excruciatingly slow progress of the "willing seller, willing buyer" policy currently in place -- whites haven't been especially eager to sell, and the government hasn't set aside much money to buy -- Pretoria did indeed approve a law that would allow for the forcible seizure of white-owned farms. Understandably, some farmers are worried, though the government says this provision is only a last-ditch way of dealing with farmers who demand absurdly high prices -- just adding a bit of stick to "willing seller, willing buyer"'s heretofore all-carrot approach. For now, anyway, it seems reasonable to take the ANC at its word. Despite its faults, the government has generally shown its commitment to the rule of law.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Tsotsis with Taste

This is just too good:
Thieves who robbed two women in a suburb of Port Elizabeth in South Africa's Eastern Cape region gave back one of the victim's mobile phones because it was "a cheap old model".


Growth Industries

Iraq is looking more and more like mid-'80s Lebanon every day. With the kidnapping epidemic still raging, small-time kidnappers have begun selling their hostages on to Islamist groups, the Daily Star's Nicholas Blanford reports.
"I think the kidnappers have learned their lessons from Lebanon," said Robert Baer, a former CIA operative who hunted for Western hostages in Beirut. "That's how it happened in Beirut ... gangs pick them up then sell them on." The kidnappings in Beirut were carried out by cells of Shiite militants connected by family and clan ties which ensured almost air tight security. Such was the secrecy surrounding the abductions that more than a decade after the last Western hostage was released in Beirut, the precise identity of the kidnappers is still unknown.

Western investigators face a similar problem in penetrating Iraq's complex web of tribes, clans, sects and political groups.

The trouble with this criminal bit of capitalism is that, unlike in Colombia -- where kidnapping has become a business transaction, with well-established rules -- militant Islamists aren't necessarily looking for money. Instead, they're out to make a point, which can't be a comforting thought to foreigners in Iraq these days.

Paging 'Dr. Death'

From the Oakland Tribune's Ian Hoffman, we learn that the Bush administration is beefing up its bioterrorism research program to "explore genetically engineered superbugs, as well as the means to mass-produce and disseminate them." Nominally, the work is for defensive purposes -- and, as such, falls into a legal gray area -- but of course it offers plenty of opportunities to develop bioweapons, too. (via Cursor)

If the scientists at Livermore need help, they could always call Wouter Basson, the mind behind the old apartheid regime's Project Coast:
Initiated in 1983 ostensibly as a defensive research program for the South African Defense Forces, Project Coast produced equipment with legitimate defensive purposes, including masks and protective suits. On paper the program fell under the control of the military surgeon-general, but in reality the project was headed by Basson, who came to be known as Dr. Death. Despite vehement assertions to the contrary, testimony showed that the program went well beyond a limited defensive capacity. According to key officials, Project Coast sponsored the production of chocolates laced with anthrax, umbrellas with poisoned tips, screwdrivers fitted with poison-filled cylinders, and clothing infused with lethal chemicals. Biological and chemical agents were developed to make attacks appear to be the result of natural causes, thereby leaving behind no trace or suspicion of foul play. Other apparently un-executed ideas included research into drugs to render black women infertile and a plan to gradually poison South African’s first post-apartheid president, Nelson Mandela, while he was still imprisoned for anti-apartheid activities.

Basson's walking free these days despite his crimes, and a job at Livermore labs would probably pay better than those crummy speaking gigs, too ...

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Tripoli or Bust

All this week, Slate features the diary of Richard Bangs, an adventure-travel heavyweight who just led the first American tour group into Libya in decades.
Sitting in the Polo Lounge at London's Heathrow Radisson, we're 10 to Tripoli, inshallah. Just a few days ago, we were 16—with a wait list. There is still no people's bureau (that's Libyan for embassy) or consulate in Washington, D.C., so in order to obtain the all-important entry stamp for the Great Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya, Americans must apply through an overseas mission. After failing in other European capitals, we settled on London, where a visa expediter promised delivery for an upfront fee of $150 each. But a week after the authorizations were promised, we have nothing. [...]


Monday, June 07, 2004

Walking Free

Eugene Terre'Blanche, leader of South Africa's neo-nazi AWB, is set for parole this week. Though the Afrikaner demagogue -- who spent three-and-a-half years behind bars for assaulting two black men -- is likely to be greeted as a conquering hero by his hard-core supporters, he's just as likely to be more or less ignored by the rest of the country. Simply put, not enough South Africans really care what he has to say anymore. That said, will the ANC be tolerant enough to let him rant away in obscurity? We'll see.

Reagan's Ghost

Juan Cole sums up "The Great Communicator"'s legacy in the Middle East, and it's not pretty.
Although it would be an exaggeration to say that Ronald Reagan created al-Qaeda, it would not be a vast exaggeration. The Carter administration began the policy of supporting the radical Muslim holy warriors in Afghanistan who were waging an insurgency against the Soviets after their invasion of that country. But Carter only threw a few tens of millions of dollars at them. By the mid-1980s, Reagan was giving the holy warriors half a billion dollars a year. His officials strong-armed the Saudis into matching the US contribution, so that Saudi Intelligence chief Faisal al-Turki turned to Usamah Bin Laden to funnel the money to the Afghans. This sort of thing was certainly done in coordination with the Reagan administration. Even the Pakistanis thought that Reagan was a wild man, and balked at giving the holy warriors ever more powerful weapons. Reagan sent Orrin Hatch to Beijing to try to talk the Chinese into pressuring the Pakistanis to allow the holy warriors to receive stingers and other sophisticated ordnance. The Pakistanis ultimately relented, even though they knew there was a severe danger that the holy warriors would eventually morph into a security threat in their own right.

Reagan's officials so hated the Sandinista populists in Nicaragua that they shredded the constitution. Congress cut off money for the rightwing death squads fighting the Sandinistas. Reagan's people therefore needed funds to continue to run the rightwing insurgency. They came up with a complicated plan of stealing Pentagon equipment, shipping it to Khomeini in Iran, illegally taking payment from Iran for the weaponry, and then giving the money to the rightwing guerrillas in Central America. At the same time, they pressured Khomeini to get US hostages in Lebanon, taken by radical Shiites there, released. It was a criminal cartel inside the US government, and Reagan allowed it, either through collusion or inattention. It is not a shining legacy, to have helped Khomeini and then used the money he gave them to support highly unsavory forces in Central America. (Some of those forces were involved after all in killing leftwing nuns).

Although Reagan's people were willing to shore up Iranian defenses during the Iran-Iraq War, so as to prevent a total Iraqi victory, they also wanted to stop Iran from taking over Iraq. They therefore winked at Saddam's use of chemical weapons. Reagan's secretary of state, George Schultz, sent Donald Rumsfeld to Baghdad twice, the second time with an explicit secret message that the US did not really mind if Saddam gassed the Iranian troops, whatever it said publicly.
[...]
Reagan's policies thus bequeathed to us the major problems we now have in the world, including a militant Islamist International whose skills were honed in Afghanistan with Reagan's blessing and monetary support; and a proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, which the Reagan administration in some cases actually encouraged behind the scenes for short-term policy reasons. His aggressive foreign policy orientation has been revived and expanded, making the US into a neocolonial power in the Middle East.


Fahrenheit 9/11
"I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers ... Now watch this drive."
-- George W. Bush, teeing it up

The trailer for Michael Moore's broadside against the Bush administration is up. It's powerful stuff, and, as Kos notes, likely to "one day be the subject of a thousand academic papers, especially if Kerry wins the White House."

Friday, June 04, 2004

'Exotic Brutality'

In the latest New York Review of Books, Mark Danner, author of "The Massacre at El Mozote" (and a former professor of mine), tackles the Abu Ghraib scandal. None of this should be a surprise, he writes; rather, when "everything changed" after September 11 and torture became standard U.S. practice, most of us chose to avert our eyes. "What is difficult," he continues, "is separating what we now know from what we have long known but have mostly refused to admit."
Behind the exotic brutality so painstakingly recorded in Abu Ghraib, and the multiple tangled plotlines that will be teased out in the coming weeks and months about responsibility, knowledge, and culpability, lies a simple truth, well known but not yet publicly admitted in Washington: that since the attacks of September 11, 2001, officials of the United States, at various locations around the world, from Bagram in Afghanistan to Guantanamo in Cuba to Abu Ghraib in Iraq, have been torturing prisoners. They did this, in the felicitous phrasing of General Taguba's report, in order to "exploit [them] for actionable intelligence" and they did it, insofar as this is possible, with the institutional approval of the United States government, complete with memoranda from the President's counsel and officially promulgated decisions, in the case of Afghanistan and Guantanamo, about the nonapplicability of the Geneva Conventions and, in the case of Iraq, about at least three different sets of interrogation policies, two of them modeled on earlier practice in Afghanistan and Cuba.

(I made a similar point, though less eloquently, back when the news broke last month.)

The Long Con

If you've got a few minutes, this exchange between a blogger and a Nigerian 401-scam artist is well worth reading.
-----Original Message-----
From: Dr Vin Herbert [mailto:drvinuerbert@ureach.com]
Sent: Monday, November 24, 2003 3:56 AM
To: drvinuerbert@ureach.com
Subject: OFFER

Dr. Vin Herbert Okon
Marble Palace,
B.P. 7190 Kinshasa,
Democratic Republic of Congo.
Tel: 83.38.41.64.

URGENT BUSINESS TRANSACTION
You may be surprised to receive my letter, however, I
got your contact from the Democratic Republic of Congo
chamber of commerce and trade. I have decided to
contact you for confidential, urgent and rewarding
joint business.
[...]
My name is Dr. Vin Herbert Okon, I was a personal assistant
to the late Democratic Republic of Congo. president,
LAWRINCE KABILA, who was assassinated in February 1998
and my aim of writing to you is because of the need
for a trusted and honest person, who I can entrust the
sum of US$28.3M(Twenty Eight Million Three hundred
housand US Dollars)are the death of president LAWRINCE
KABILA,
I and late president secured the sum of US$28.3M in a
security firm in London in my name for investment. Now that he
is late, I want to transfer the money from London to your
cuntry for investment,

[...]

Thank you in advance for your anticipated
co-operation.
God bless you.
Thanks
Dr. Vin Herbert Okon

******************************************************************

Dear Dr. Okon,
What a pleasure to hear from a fellow human from the Congo! What a terrific history your nation has, although I must admit I am aware of it mostly only after Europeans came and started messing everything up. What with all the determined European explorers and the colonial period under the rule of King Leopold of Belgium, what a difficult time of exploitation for the Congolese people. How happy I was to hear that the Congo had become independent in the early sixties, a time for great rejoicing!

I am very much interested in proceeding with this transaction. The opportunity for me to be of assistance to another noble being is what drives all my lifeforce, all my being. For you see, after my parents were blown up in a volcano last year, and were eaten by the gophers that streamed forth from its steam spouting vents, I was kidnapped by aliens. They look exactly like Vin Diesel, all of them. Contrary to popular belief, there were no probes, no examination nor anything of that nature. Instead, they looked me deep in the eyes, into my soul they reached, and imbued me with great power. I can lift great weights with my mind! Yesterday, I lifted a shopping cart out of my way to get to the register quicker. The old lady was hanging on to the cart and it just lifted her right off the ground! Pretty soon I should be able to lift big rocks and stuff. Then I'm going to be a big man around town. Also, I can hear things from a great distance, but that's not much good cause everything is so damn noisy. I got all these great big crystals, and I'm going to have a big meditation fest, and this time there will be a real harmonic convergence, even if I have to pick up and toss everybody not thinking good thoughts into the sea, dammit.

So, when I got your email, I immediately booked a trip to London on my last few dollars on my credit card. I'll be there tomorrow. Can you tell me which bank to go to? I have a big duffell bag to put the money in. When will you be in the USA? I will prepare some curried lamb for you.

All my love to you and yours fellow human. May you be imbued with white light and lifted, raised up high by the good spirits that surround you and protect you from all the bad bad things that can happen, like being eaten by ants, or prawns.

Congenially,
Tom

******************************************************************

-----Original Message-----
From: drvinherbert@totalise.co.uk [mailto:drvinherbert@totalise.co.uk]
Sent: Monday, November 24, 2003 12:22 PM
To: Tom Ocampo
Subject: DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE
Dear Brother,

Thanks for your mail,

I want to let you know that this fund was deposited with a security company in London,so if we can proceed you just let me know,so that I can tell you, your role in this transaction,am also sending to you the deposit certificate which we used to deposit the consignment with the security company in London.

I know is not easy to believe someone you have not meet before,please do you really want to assist my family? if not don't joke with us.

Waiting for your urgent reply.

Dr. Okon


******************************************************************

Dearest Dr. Okon,

I can tell that you are a man of similar persuasions to mine. Tell me, do you like movies about gladiators?

I want to let you know that this morning, I tried again to lift the sidewalk outside my workplace, and it moved! I am developing great power and I have decided that I will not be a benificent omnipotent being. I will be quite malevolent. I have not yet decided who to smite and who to elevate as a peer, but you have already earned my good graces by not calling me a "liar, a petty petty liar with delusions of grandeur" as my poor mother did just as the gophers were chewing her nose off. You shall be my right hand man, and I will embue you with power just less than mine. Your power will only be any good as long as I live, however, so don't get any ideas over there. Don't get smart. Don't try anything funny.

I have begun planning my palace, very fortunate that I will be able to use funds from this transaction to build my palace, it will have a great harem. I learned about harems from reading the 1000 and one nights, have you read it? Lots of harems. You may enjoy my harems as long as you are my right hand man. Also, we will have a concert hall and a jacuzzi. A basketball court, and one of those giant chessboards where the pieces are real people, and an orchard with trees full of fruit and great gardens and fountains, and an observatory. We will have a tall tower in which to imprison important enemies and a dungeon for the lowly ones. You and I, my friend, my brother, we will rule the world! Behind the scenes of course.

I also want a zoo, and the gophers will be treated as gods and allowed to eat anyone they want. Least I can do. Cute little buggers. Big nasty teeth. Do you think a ferris wheel is too much? I do want a movie theatre. And a miniature gold course. Joe Namath will serve us drinks and all the world will kneel before us and call us gods, and we will call down lightning to smite our enemies! Only for someone who thinks so alike to me will I offer this. Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

I like the document you sent, but is it safe to keep that? It seems very dangerous for that to be lying around. Just in case, I'll burn my computer to be sure our transaction is safe. Don't worry, I can still check my email using my new mental powers. Last thing I tried was to order something from Amazon.com using only my mind, and it worked! When we meet I will give you this power too. You still need a valid credit card, however. I am working on that.

Do you know a good place to find a throne? Or maybe you have one lying around? Also, if you know any women good for our harem, send me the details. My army of followers will bring them to the harem.

Ok, so, I am ready to proceed. What is my role, and how do I expedite? Shall I still board the plane to London, or wait to hear from you here? And, of course, I would never joke with you. I take all matters financial very seriously, and am a reliable, not insane, business partner. Anyone who says I am insane is wrong, and will join the others in eternal torment.

Most sincerely,

Tom

******************************************************************

Tom,

Listen to me very well,I don't I do deal with you in this transaction.

Bye for now


******************************************************************

(Thanks Robert.)

Thursday, June 03, 2004

A Hungry Land

"We are not hungry. It should go to hungrier people, hungrier countries than ourselves," Mugabe said in an interview with British Sky television.

"Why foist this food upon us? We don't want to be choked," he said.

As I noted a few weeks ago, Robert Mugabe's assertion that Zimbabwe will be able to feed itself this year is demonstrably false. But that's his story, and he's sticking to it, even when news breaks of the government's deal to import nearly $50 million worth of grain from the U.S. Clearly, this is the action of a country saddled with a massive maize surplus, right? And while it might be reassuring to know that at least there'll be some food in Zimbabwe come fall, it's not likely that people in opposition areas -- Bulawayo, say, or the Harare suburbs -- will see any of it.

Welcome ...

To anyone visiting from Southern Cross, a top-notch blog run by a couple of South African Rhodes Scholars in London. (Thanks for the plug, Murray.)

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Big Brother, Little Brother

In Slate, the Beirut Daily Star's Michael Young unpacks Sunday's Lebanese election results, in which Hezbollah -- with help from Syria, Lebanon's kingmaker -- scored some big wins. Syria, no favorite of the Bush administration, wants to protect itself from Washington's wrath by demonstrating both Hezbollah's popularity and its control over the party. As Young sees it, though, Syria's strategy is likely to backfire:
However, Syria, by playing up Hezbollah's popularity, has done itself and Lebanon little good. The election results will not convince the Bush administration and the U.S. Congress of the party's "acceptability," but it will make Lebanon a more likely American target, while also persuading U.S. officials that Hezbollah is flourishing under Syria's tender eye.

So why is Syria doing it, other than to emphasize that attacking Hezbollah may prove a chore? The Syrians have long believed that a strong Hezbollah makes them appear indispensable in Lebanon, because it allows them to convince the United States that if Syrian forces were required to withdraw from the country (another demand of the Syria Accountability Act), Hezbollah would fill the vacuum.

This rationale goes to the heart of Syria's dilemma with respect to the United States: Hezbollah is only of use to Damascus for as long as the party remains active and alarms the Americans and their allies. If the Syrians get rid of Hezbollah, Washington will have far less incentive to regard the Syrians as useful. Conversely, if Syria fails to subdue Hezbollah, American hostility will only increase. What is frustrating Syria is that it wants to use Hezbollah as one means of leverage to improve its relationship with Washington. However, the Bush administration has no inclination to bargain. Indeed, if Iraq becomes more of a problem, a vulnerable Syria may emerge as an increasingly tempting U.S. target to prove the war on terrorism is alive and well.


Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Failed State Fallout

Further evidence that when a country collapses, as Congo did in the 1990s, the world should pay attention -- if not for humanitarian reasons then for selfish ones. No one has much of an interest in bringing order to Congo, though, and until they do, wildcat miners will continue to dig up and sell all the uranium they want, to anybody they want.
President Joseph Kabila ordered the zone closed three months ago amid growing concerns that unregulated nuclear materials could get into the hands of so-called rogue nations or terrorist groups. Yet 1,000 miles away from the capital, Kinshasa, thousands of diggers are still hacking away at a dark cavity of open earth in this southeastern village, filling thousands of burlap sacks a day with black soil rich in cobalt, copper -- and radioactive uranium.

The illegal mining provides stark evidence of how little control Africa's third-largest nation has over its own nuclear resources, highlighting the government's weak authority beyond the capital in the aftermath of Congo's devastating 1998-2002 war.

"They're digging as fast as they can dig, and everyone is buying it," John Skinner, a mining engineer in the nearby town of Likasi, said of the illegal freelance mining at Shinkolobwe. "The problem is that nobody knows where it's all going. There is no control."


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